There is always (for me at least) a temptation to measure myself against others. I worry a great deal sometimes about not being as clever as everybody else. I have started to blog several times but it falls flat because I begin to wonder what I have to say that is actually worthwhile. When I read the blogs of others far more learned than myself I feel woefully inadequate.
Does this little brother have a message that anyone could want to hear? I don't know the answer to that, but all I can do is pass on the message that I feel called to proclaim.
That message is a simple one and you have heard it before but I never get tired of telling it. Here goes....
Our lord and saviour Jesus Christ is not some abstract theory or dusty artefact of ancient history! Rather he is an unshakeable and concrete reality. He did walk upon the earth. He was crucified and he did rise again. And he does reign as our king today.
How do I know this with the unshakable conviction with which I can speak it? The answer to that is that I have experienced him as a concrete reality.
I share briefly a personal story but it's one of many that I could use...
Many years ago now I was very very ill, I was so I'll that I tried to take my own life, for several days I had to be treated in hospital because of the physical aspects of an overdose. I was at my lowest ebb and like many people I was asking the question God where are you? As I lay in that hospital bed praying and praying for consolation what happened? The consolation came both supernaturally and in the natural realm. In the miasma and confusion of my thoughts a young child came towards me, he caressed my cheek and over me washed a serenity that I cannot describe. From that moment on I knew that God loves me...not because of me, but because God is love. I knew that I could never try and harm myself again, I was bought at a price and that price was to precious to throw away.
Since then much has happened to rock my life, much loss and grief, but that beautiful testimony of Job still holds is place in my heart and I am able to say with him " I know that my redeemer lives, and in the flesh will I see God".
When faced with the 'holy ground' of anothers deep and powerful suffering, all I can do is try and point them to jesus in his real and saving presence. His mercy which longs to reach out towards us and the freedom of the truly free which may only be found in him.
I don't quote Luther very often but a phrase of his comes to mind when contemplating my own suffering. "Here I stand, I can do no other" I stand on the knowledge that Jesus is Lord, he is Lord when every plan I make falls into tatters and he is Lord when I am lost in darkest depression. He is Lord of both storm and sunshine. My Jesus I love thee above all things forgive me my frailties negligence and offences and never suffer me to be parted from thee again.
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